How many of US have them?

Friends
I have gained and lost many friends over the last 9 years with little understanding of why. People that I feel contribute to my life in many ways both positive and negative. Some that I call when I have a lot of money, some when I have none. I have found that the ones that are around when I have none treat me worse in the end. I enjoy the conversation others so much and no one sees the difference when I don’t fill this void in my life and I wonder if its my fault or the person’s vision. My friends are diverse in thought and site. A dream of mine is to get everyone in the same place to have one huge party of life. The reason it’s a dream is because the only way I see people doing this willingly is at my wake. Yes this is harsh but it is the situational reality. If I said to you, “Reader, come to an event.” or a place that I’m at, the likely answer to the text is a look off. Y’all know how y’all do my shit, like I’m an annoying bill collector and u memorized my 1-800-number. This is what really grinds my gears because I consider you a friend and I’m starting to think I shouldn’t. Let me define what I mean by friend for the confused. I consider people who have a relation to me in any way. For instance if we have a discussion of longer than 10 min about one subject, I consider u a friend, if u have done a favor for me, you are my friend, if I have meet someone in your family that wasn’t in school with us, I am your friend in my book. Friends, you see it doesn’t take much for me to put u in the friend category. So y is it that when I hit u up to get out the house it’s a problem? Am I not cool enough for your circle? If so, jus let me know. Don’t hide shit from me, I’m not the police I don’t talk as it is so I wont tell on u. My people I enjoy your company and would like to get more of it regardless of where and when.